I’m a little touched in the head. Okay that’s an understatement. I was like that before the accident and afterward its only seem to intensify. I’m sure I’ve said plenty of times that I was painfully shy growing up. I was an only child until I was 8 and from then on had a shit load of responsibilities dump on me. I’m sure any mental growth between 8-14 was severely stunted. But don’t worry, I won’t be bleaching my skin or building a Ranch anytime soon. Being shy, quiet and introverted, I got into the habit of talking to myself mostly from taking on different roles as I played with my toys.

Yes, I talked to myself, I still do to this day. It’s not like I was full on conversations with myself. What happens is that I have a thought and for some reason I play out a scenario of talking about this thought with someone and within the span of seconds of having this thought I catch myself mouthing off the words of what I or the other person in the conversation may say. Something that started out from playing with my Lego blocks and Ninja Turtle figures may have directed me on a course to a psychosis. But I digress.


Do you know that I still talk to myself?

I remember when I was like 9 or 10 – and it would be time to go to sleep. I wouldn’t be sleepy. So, I just laid in the bed and had a full fledged gospel concert. I’d emcee the program, I’d be the choir, I’d raise an offering – I’d do everything. One time I think it lasted for about an hour or so until I fell asleep. I would sing the songs, not loudly, but I’d sing them all the way through…

Yea, I’m touched too…I think.

Tony, we’re all touched in one way or another. It’s not necessarily a bad thing though, but we all are touched.

Grandpa graeeye

June 17th, 2005
at 11:40am

(Grandpa graeeye leans back in his wise ol’ rockin chair over lookin’ da plantation and in his best slavery voice says….)

uh…Babies, didn’t grandpa mention to ya that you don’t tell all ya shit in public…
Talking to ya self is just like farting in public…you deny it until everyone is suspect.

Boy…you change from Grandpa to Grandmama every other day…I’m getting confused…

Gee … I guess that makes me touched too. Especially since I embarked on this lil solo adventure.

“Embarked my ass! Your roommate got dibs on a better job
and left ur sorry ass behind. You didn do shyt ‘cept stay behind.”

OK … yea I guess that’s true. But especially since I’m living alone now I’m almost always talking to myself. U know it’s bad too when u get tired of hearing ur own voice in ur head.


My biggest fear is that someone will plant a video camera in this piece and see what really goes on up in here all day!

dont know if you;ll get to read this but i just want you to know that i do the exact same thing, for the exact same reason! i talk to myself as though im practising/playing out how to tell someone what im going to tell them, happens a lot after a dramatic occurance or if i have a lot of things to say. its so weird! its like a fantasy/acting thing. i never thought much about it, i know what im doing and i know its weird, so i googled it and came across this weird is that! you are not alone, buddy.

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