It’s Officially: Claremont Has Lost His Mind

Something is definitely wrong with Chris Claremont. If you don’t know who Claremont is, I apologize for that now. Claremont was the one who re-invented the X-men int he early 80’s. Created characters like Kitty Pride aka Shadowcat and co-master minded the Phoenix Saga. Essentially known for characterization and not story/plots, I guess I should had seen this coming.

The last arc was cliche and hacken, (A new race of Dino-people in the Savage Land), the one before was drawn out too long, (Sage leaves the X-Men to go back to teh Hellfire Club), Excalibur was so boring, its going to be cancelled after issue 14. And then there is this:

Uncanny X-Men #460 Click to Enlarge

The X-Men have been up on each other like rabbits in a small cage. Nightcrawler is hooking up with Marvel Girl but jealous that Storm and Wolverine as shacking up. Shit is all fucked up. Betsy hasn’t been out of the grave that long and Beast is already copping a feel.

Full spoilers below in inviso-text, courtesy of Doc Matters on the Forums. Highlight to read.
Wow, really good issue imo…after that horrible arc about dinosaurs, we get a nice issue with a lot of character interactions..there were lot of scenes so I might be missing some stuff, but the X-Men arrive back at the mansion. Rachael is normal again. When Storm gets in she relieves herself (but she leaves her clothes on). Bishop goes to the carriage house and tries to talk to Sage, but only sees the hologram of Sage who mentions the incident with Wolverine and Hydra and the brainwashing.

Psylocke goes to explore the mansion. She and Nightcrawler continue to do their friendly flirtations. She gets a peeved that Phoenix has a memorial but she doesnt, but Nightcrawlers says theres a plaque for her in the back. Emma and Psylocke have a catfigtht with angry scowls as they kiss each others and the cheeks complete with KISS effects lol and try to act all polite while insulting each other. Psylocke comments about Emma finally getting promoted to the X-Men from Generation X. Emma’s says something along the lines of “well this seems to be the year of resurrections”…Psylocke says she should be careful when Jean comes back from the White Hot Room (But how did Psylocke even know of that concept?)…Emma says something like “Do us a favor, Elizabeth, and stay dead”

Rachel and X-23 go to the room they share with Kitty and Rachael barges in to do some girl talk and show off souvenirs from the Savage Land, but Rachel is shocked when she finds Colossus in there with Kitty sharing an intimate moment. Rachel gets a bit upset and Colossus is like “well you can hang out with us too”…Rachel’s upset because everyone keeps coming back from the dead, but whenever she’s around, her mom is dead, and when her mom is back, she gets lost in time, and now thats she back, her mom is dead again..Kitty gets pissed off and phases her and Colossus away. (Im glad someone finally mentioned Rachael going to the Asakni future). Rachel has a nervous breakdown and starts to cry, and X-23 is confused. Rachel explains that due to her messed up life, the only constant in her life was Kitty (and even Kate Pryde in the DOFP), and with Colossus back, she’s afraid that Kitty would prefer to spend time with him instead of her….

Oh and btw, Storm is excited to see Colossus. Later Psylocke and Beast are overjoyed to see each other, but Beast gets a bit carried away and even licks her and slaps her ass. At first she’s a bit WTF, but he’s apologizes and gets sad and says its just weird because she died in his arms. They share a moment and Psylcoke says shes hungry and they go to the cafeteria…while there I think Psylocke talks to Rachel and tells her to get over herself LOL
But I think the conversation gets cut short because Psylocke sees Jamie Braddock (shes sees him twice this issue I believe)

And they also briefly mention the stuff from Enemy of the State and Phoenix Endsong. So that means those evens happened after Psylocke came back? Although its funny on how Wolverine ended up in the Savage Land, the X-Men went to rescue him, and then they never got to do that. Later Psylocke tries out the danger room. First she sets the program to make her fight Sabretoooth and thinks about the times they fought when she was British and when he gutted her, then she fights a program of Vargas. But before she can get too far, a wormhole opens

Out pops Nocture, Juggernaut, and Spiral. Everyone is confused. Some of the other xmen come in. Nightcrawler is overjoyed to see Nocturne. Nocture explains that they got sucked in the wormhole (from Xorn) but that she possessed Spiral to bring them back. Suddenly Spiral wakes up, she wasn’t possessed, she was just pretending for Nocturne to lead them to the X-men. She opens up a portal and Mojo pops out and says “Who’s your daddy now?” (cheesy but funny line lol). And thats it.
I still say the Phoenix Saga which he wrote with John Byrne was probably his best story to date. Too bad it happened twenty years ago.


Yeah i said Claremont was never the same on the X-men when he left the first time. That why i dont read it anymore.

glad i’m not the only one having these WTF moments about Claremonts issues of least there’s whedon on Astonishing( for a little while longer at least)

Leave a Comment