While I Was Away


I actually anticipated less of a fanfare for my birthday, but maybe I’m being a pessimestic dick again. Anyway, I’ve been been in a general funk the past week, and not only becasue of my birthday (which I have every right to be pissy about, its my party and I can cry if I want to) but also because the amount of energy I seem to be lacking.

First things first, I stopped putting any consderable thought into celebrating my birthday. Since the last time anyone put any effort into acknowledging it was here. The same thing goes for holidays as well. Maybe the cause is I never got that toy I wanted as a child or maybe I’m just jade from years of disappointment, either way my past birthday was just another Tuesday to me, nothing eventful happened. Even though, my mother, my father & step-mother (both who I haven’t spoken to in over a year) left voicemail messages and some of my frat sent some e-cards, I didn’t feel like being bother and went to bed fairly early so I could get some rest. Secondly on a somewhat related topic I would like to announce that sex is not a proper birthday present. If you were offering me ass last week simply because it was Thursday, why would I think it would be any more special on my birthday? Lame or maybe I’m being an insufferable dick again.

Speaking of which, I’ve decided to keep it in my pants since I’ve been suffering though what can only be described as being bored with sex. Granted I’ve haven’t had any in some time, the general concepts and unoriginally I’ve encountered have pretty much turned me off. Oddly the need to expand my Collection and have relations with the wifey have not cease. I was told that matching blisters on my hand and penis isn’t a cute look.

Been spending some time, hanging out with a some very cool individuals. I thoroughly enjoy their company and one in particular, I’m starting to feel something for them. I find myself looking forward to Wednesday where I would go to his place to watch TV (my cable non-provider doesn’t carry certain channels), have dinner and just chill. We have completely different ideolgies, yet I see where a lot alike. And while its easy for me to put all of this out there, I can’t really say it to them since I don’t want to rock the boat. Why does being emotional suck or do I just miss thinking with my dick?

I’ve come to the concensus that I’m a Grade-A mooron. As I was paying my NIPSCO bill through my bank online bill payment system, generally not paying attention to what I do with my money, I submitted a $300 payment to go through on the 29th of September (i.e. my next payday). Unfortunately the ‘2’ I used to change the date ’19’ into ’29’ didn’t go into the right box. So not checking the form before I hit submit, I sent in a payment of $2300 to go through on the 19th. I honestly think that my dick has a bigger brain.


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I actually anticipated less of a fanfare for my birthday, but maybe I’m being a pessimestic dick again. […]…

Well, at least you understand how you screwed your account up. I used Yahoo Bill Payer in the very early days. Somehow, it made it impossible for me to budget and I got way in debt. Not the systems fault, exactly, but it somehow made money unreal.

I went back to checks and have not returned.

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