Guess I need to drop some X-titles in the near future…

This is not about the name. Unlike fart jokes, feminine hygiene product jokes are never funny, but I digress. Anyway, the iPad… I totally get what it is and what it isn’t.

First you have to realize what the iPad isn’t. Its not a tablet computer so stop comparing it to one. A tablet PC has been nothing more than a laptop with a touchscreen. Now what is the iPad? Simply put… its a souped up ebook reader. And it surpasses about 95% of all ebook readers just by having a full color screen. So I don’t care that the iPad doesn’t have a built-in camera, why? Because my iphone has a camera, my Mac has a camera and my camera is A CAMERA! People expect too much and contribute very little, granted I’m not in the market for an ebook reader of any kind, but than again I just started using the Amazon Kindle app on my iPhone and that work’s fine for me.

Age – I turn 30 this year, yet I don’t feel like that much time has past since I turned 21. But then it hit me, I came across one of my little cousins Facebook page. I distinctly remember going to one of his an his twin sister’s 6th or 7th birthday parties as a kid. He’s in his twenties now, in college and pledged Phi Beta Sigma. Feels like everyone is growing up but me. I’m still sitting around reading comics, watching Spongebob and playing video games while everyone else is living, getting careers being ADULTS.

Sex – There’s no denying that I’m definitely a male but I haven’t really felt like a man recently. This partially ties back to the age section, but seems like instead of manning up to life, I’m still just a boy. No job, no family and sometimes I’m barely holding on. I see my younger brother and how he holds his little girl and cry because I don’t have that. Again, I’m almost 30 and I don’t have the house, the car, the family or achieve any of the goals I said I wanted when I was younger. I’m failing to step up to the plate and feel less of a man because of it.

Location – I make it no secret that I live in the hood and at first it really didn’t bother me. I grew up in the inner-city, the high-rise low-income housing, subject of the lower middle class. But lately this place has been really rubbing me the wrong way from the couple getting high in the building hallway outside my apartment door, smoking God knows what in front of their very young children to the random people approaching me on the street asking if I want to buy loose cigarettes to buying weed. I won’t even get into the very long battle I had with a bed bug infestation and a non-medicated schizophrenic neighbor who kept knocking on my door at 5am. A Place that was once ideal because of its low rent and access to public transportation, is now a personal hell.

Will all that being said… I accepted the things I can’t change in life and actively working on the things I can. I accept that I am turning 30 this year and its okay for me still read comics. I’m okay as long I don’t start writing fan-fic. And I know that my I won’t be unemployed for much longer. I put my resume out several times a week. I’m highly skilled, competent and confident that something will come along. And while I can’t afford to move right away, I have taken some steps to make my environment a little better. So while my A/S/L may not be optimal right now… By the time I am 30 things will be better

I really wish I could explain what Google Wave is, what it does, or even how to use it, but I can’t. I have a lot of invites for Google Wave and I can’t even give them away.

This will probably be the last time I’ll bring it up, but I want to have fun trying to get rid of these invites. So here’s the deal, I’m willing to barter something for an invite but not just anything. I want some trivia, random X-Men trivia. Just leave it in the comments of this post and if its good, I’ll bounce you an invite.

Within life, I tried to examine myself in an effort of self discovery and self improvement. Lately I’ve been forced to sit down and look at all my flaws, both internal and external, mental and physical. With this great introspection, I realize that I may never be the person I want to be mostly because I setting a standard base on the perceptions and ideals of other people and not my own. I was never happy because I don’t have the six pack or I didn’t have the abundance of wealth and I’m not saying that something like that would never happen but I spent my life worried about what I don’t have and instead of what I do have.

It’s twenty ten and I’m focusing on the positives of my life. Why dwell on not being able to find work? I’m steady on find a job and I’m still able to pay bills. Why stress on the fact I’m dating someone who is not trying to give me any sex? I have someone who genuinely loves me. It’s a new year and a new day and I going to act accordingly.