Legitimate Blog Fodder

Well I said I was gonna try and take a break but life won’t let me. Here’s a recap…

Saturday I only worked for 5 hours instead of 12 which was good cuz I was tired of looking at these muh fuckas. One more day I’ve would have doe some shit that would have gotten me fired and arrested in one swift motion. The Christmas party was Saturday as well. From what I heard from home-girl at the job, no one but management was their and it was boring. Big ups to Home-girl Erica for hooking a nigga up wit a plate. Anyway, by the end of the shift, in was snowing and I hate snow. INDOT is never on there shit and the streets were so fucked up. Lucky I only live 3 minutes away in good traffic so the ride home only took 20 minutes. I get home, strip to my draws, get a beer and watch Justice League Unlimited on my DVR while eating chicken from the Christmas party.

Sunday, I woke and was gonna get some breakfast from the Wheel. Its some restaurant in Hammond where on a good day some old geezer is bound to have a heart attack and die while choking down a tough ass piece of meat. But the omlets are off the chain. So I start to clean up, and I call the place and give them my order. I throw some jeans on and go to start my car so it’ll be warmed up. I ran back inside, made my bed ran some water to wash dishes and jumped in the car. As soon as I backed up onto the black top I knew my shit was fucked up. I had 2 flat tires. Both on the passanger side of my car. I never noticed them car my car was sitting in snow. I hate fucking snow, it killed my father and raped my mother, but I digress. So with not a lot of options I figure I on 2 flat tires to the gas station around the corner and see if I can put some air in them and still make it to the Wheel for my Denver omlet. My tires were new and I knew I didn’t puncture them. Must’ve been the air pressure and the cold air. A rational explaination, no?

So I actually make it to the gas station by taking a back street. All is good… Nope I guess that the two turn I had to make to the gas station, shifted the flat tire on my front wheel so now the rim is exposed. Now I can’t put air in the tire and I’m royally fucked.

Called My boy, Ken, for the number of Triple A and he offers to come wait with me cuz he’s coming this way anyway. By the time he gets to the gas station I was still on hold with Triple A, not saying that he was realy quick in getting there, but I was on hold for about 20 minutes. So after having my car sit at a gas station for about 3 hours this white guy in a flatbad truck comes around. Dude jumps out of the truck, and was literally “knee-high to a duck’s ass.” This muh fucka was short. Not like midget short but short enough that he would have to climb a step latter to jump and attempt and smack my balls. But he was cool. As he droppd my car off in front of my building he made the Hawaiian hand gesture or maybe it was the “Devil horns,” I wasn’t really paying attention. The rest of my Sunday was filled with VCR shopping with Ken, watching Dodgeball & I, Robot and cooking some Chicken Helper.

Which reminds me, why does it seem like I’m the only one who knows about Chicken Helper. I had to explain to several people including Ken what it was. “Like Hamburger Helper but with Chicken,” but I digress.