Shannon

Been having a serious brain fart all day today couldn’t really think of anything to say. Couldn’t even think of some random shit to just throw on here, but I did want to move that photo post from he weekend, but I digress.

Since I don’t have any current shit to drone on about I guess I’ll bored y’all with a ditty bout my first girlfriend and a first kiss. Actually that’s a lie cuz it wasn’t my first kiss (remember that game Catch a girl, Freak a girl) this is a story bout an unwanted girlfriend and an unwanted kiss. A Sucka-punch Kiss…

It was that magic time, circa 1993-4, the golden age of hip hop when muh fuckas use to watch the Box, Donnie Simpson and Video Soul was still on BET and Real Sex was only or 4 or 5. Well around this time I was 13-14 years old, and I had this “girlfriend” and I use the term “girlfriend” severely loosely. Because when u think bout someone who’s suppose to be your girlfriend or boyfriend at any age you would think it would be somebody you like. This was not the case in my situation.

Now, I’m not trying to be mean but this is how I felt then and still is true today. My girlfriend’s name Shannon and she was one of those ‘Round da Corner muh fuckas cuz they just show up one day outta the blue from around the corner. She was tall, thick and kinda ogre-ish like the Hulk but had nice set of matching titties and ass (she showed me)… especially for a 14 year old. The problem with Shannon was the fact that she was slow. Not retarded even though that question came up a lot, but slow enough that she rode the short bus to school. In a group of females, Shannon was the one that the other girls had to defend when someone called her “Frankenstein” or started making Herman Munster sounds.

Don’t ask how she got to be my girlfriend. At some point I remember my boy Isaiah trying to holla at her, just to see if she would give up some pussy. He got tired of her and somehow she’s with me. How the fuck did that happen? Anyway, so me and Shannon are suppose to be boyfriend and girlfriend, whatever that means when you’re 13. I was at the age where I was lying bout getting pussy from “the girl from the other school” which means I wasn’t doing anything other then jacking off. The girl has never been pass the threshold on my front door. Which was fine by me cuz besides the one time she showed me and Isaiah her bra, Shannon wasn’t really give up anything. This one time, I was up in my room with my best friend Isaiah and my brother Jack playing something on Sega Genesis. My parents had the habit of letting anyone who said they were my friend into the house to come see me. So me, Ike and Jack are getting into something Sonic the Hedgehog or something and this head pops into the doorway, Shannon’s big Hulk head. She looks at me, I look at Isaiah, he looks at my little brother and Little Jack looks back at both of us. Everyone pause but no one paused the game, so we died.

Shannon: Hi Fez
Me: How jud get in?
Shannon: Mr. Anthony let me in…
(Both Jack and Isaiah snickering)
Shannon: Can I come up?
Me: Yea, we’re just playin’ Sonic so just keep quiet.
Shannon: Hi Jack, Hi Isaiah
(Now jack is full out laughing)
Isaiah & Jack: Hi Shannon

When this happened, both me and Isaiah were sitting on the floor of my room while my little brother was jumping on my bed. We try to get back into the game as Shannon proceeded to sit on the floor right next to me. Me and Isaiah are into the game, and SMACK. She kissed me. I turned and looked at her like “WHAT THE FUCK!?!” Shannon didn’t say anything, I didn’t saying anything. Isaiah and didn’t see a thing so I had plausible deniability. I don’t know why I was pisses, was it cause I wasn’t expecting it or wasn’t it because I was just being a little asshole, either way Shannon had to go.

Fast forward to that night, when I made Shannon cry. I didn’t want to her boyfriend. The reason why? Well not only was I get constantly getting asked “You’re Shannon’s boyfriend?” my parents started to tease me bout it so she had to be cut off. Was it a mean thing to do, sure but I was 13 and I have gotten my comeuppance.