Love, Like & Sex

Song Cry

Sunday, September 21st, 2008
by Tony

Portrait of The Broken-Hearted

Monday, November 12th, 2007
by Tony

What happens when every song you hear reminds you of them? Every rational thought tells you that should not feel this way but you do anyway. Their presence makes me weak and yet I need to be strong. For I can’t have them and that is why I cry myself to sleep.

Phewy With Love: The Catch Up pt. 2

Monday, July 23rd, 2007
by Tony

In the time while I was away, I’ve been trying to get back into the dating scene (as if I ever left it). And dating always puts me in a mood of self-reflecting. I’m single… I’ve been single for the better part of 4 years.Granted I’ve gone out with some cool people, in the last four years, but either nothing ever comes of it, they end up going back to their ex-boyfriends or they’re dating my friends. Its too the point where I’m use to be being a relationship halfway house. Where I pick them up out of the shambles of their failed relationship, rebuild them into stronger more confident people so they can leave me and go back to the exs. And I assure you that I’m not exaggerating, its truthfully happen at least four times. At this point, I really can’t establish any strong emotional connection with anyone I go out with. Maybe I’m a little bitter but I think I’m allowed to be.

While I Was Away

Thursday, September 21st, 2006
by Tony

I actually anticipated less of a fanfare for my birthday, but maybe I’m being a pessimestic dick again. Anyway, I’ve been been in a general funk the past week, and not only becasue of my birthday (which I have every right to be pissy about, its my party and I can cry if I want to) but also because the amount of energy I seem to be lacking.

First things first, I stopped putting any consderable thought into celebrating my birthday. Since the last time anyone put any effort into acknowledging it was here. The same thing goes for holidays as well. Maybe the cause is I never got that toy I wanted as a child or maybe I’m just jade from years of disappointment, either way my past birthday was just another Tuesday to me, nothing eventful happened. Even though, my mother, my father & step-mother (both who I haven’t spoken to in over a year) left voicemail messages and some of my frat sent some e-cards, I didn’t feel like being bother and went to bed fairly early so I could get some rest. Secondly on a somewhat related topic I would like to announce that sex is not a proper birthday present. If you were offering me ass last week simply because it was Thursday, why would I think it would be any more special on my birthday? Lame or maybe I’m being an insufferable dick again.

Speaking of which, I’ve decided to keep it in my pants since I’ve been suffering though what can only be described as being bored with sex. Granted I’ve haven’t had any in some time, the general concepts and unoriginally I’ve encountered have pretty much turned me off. Oddly the need to expand my Collection and have relations with the wifey have not cease. I was told that matching blisters on my hand and penis isn’t a cute look.

Been spending some time, hanging out with a some very cool individuals. I thoroughly enjoy their company and one in particular, I’m starting to feel something for them. I find myself looking forward to Wednesday where I would go to his place to watch TV (my cable non-provider doesn’t carry certain channels), have dinner and just chill. We have completely different ideolgies, yet I see where a lot alike. And while its easy for me to put all of this out there, I can’t really say it to them since I don’t want to rock the boat. Why does being emotional suck or do I just miss thinking with my dick?

I’ve come to the concensus that I’m a Grade-A mooron. As I was paying my NIPSCO bill through my bank online bill payment system, generally not paying attention to what I do with my money, I submitted a $300 payment to go through on the 29th of September (i.e. my next payday). Unfortunately the ’2′ I used to change the date ’19′ into ’29′ didn’t go into the right box. So not checking the form before I hit submit, I sent in a payment of $2300 to go through on the 19th. I honestly think that my dick has a bigger brain.

Pornography Is A Gateway Drug

Saturday, October 2nd, 2004
by Tony

I will be the first to admit it, I’m a black man who masturbates and I’m not ashamed of it. Its kinda like a drug and porn was the gateway. I don’t think I even really got into beating off until I started to porn. In high school I would be the first home and had bout 2-3 hours before anyone came home. I had time to find my dad’s flicks which my step-mom tried ever so hard to hide, either from us the kids or from my dad himself. I know where my dad got his stach, from my god-dad, my Uncle Lloyd and had boxes and boxes of flicks. You love going over there when I was kid, hoping that I could catch a glimpse of issue of Black Tail or see if I could pocket a flick (sorry Uncle Lloyd) and sneak it home. Most of the time I failed, sometime I suceeded.

By my junior year I had a nice little stach going for myself. And pretty much everyday I would be home around 3:30 laying in bed with the remote in my right hand and my dick in the left. I was sad and patethic then, no different then now. I don’t know if I ever would have choke the chicken so much in life if it wasn’t for porn. I really don’t have much of an imagination and magazines don’t do it for me (I need my pictures to move). I needed more stimuli to make the one-eyed monster throw up.

Now before I’m judged and labelled as a pervert, just know that I’m not the only one who looks at porn and shakes hands with the man, I just not ashamed to admit it. I have a healthy yet sparactic sex life and I’m safe & clean. Yanking my own chain keeps me outta trouble and I’m not spending my rent money on porn, not obsessing over or stalking any porn people. I don’t drain the main vein all the time, I barely have time to do it. I don’t have toys or gadgets, I don’t try to live out porn fantasies eventhough I did learn this on position from a flick thats as far as it goes. So as taboo as porn and monkey spanking goes I’m in lowest percentile of those who are masters in the Art Form