It seems that I can’t have a birthday or a major holiday without going through some heartbreak. With everyone talking about friends, family and love ones, just exacerbates the feeling of isolation. I should stick to guns and ultimately stay by myself. That way no one will get hurt especially me.
Everyday I struggle over the same thing with myself: Go to the gym or Sit on my ass. Tonight, my lazy half will win.
… And I felt a part of my soul die.
As I’ve gotten older I realized that being jealous of anyone else’s success is counter-productive to my own success and happiness. And before I continue I have to say that I’m using the term jealous in the looses way because I refuse to believe that these basic-ass chicks on this show should warranty any emotion from anyone but pity.
I prayed that I would never get to see this show but for the last month its all that my best friend and my roommates have been talking about. Tonight I finally sat down and witnessed the incessant drama, bitchiness, the gaudiness… and frankly it all made me a little sick. So excuse me, I have to go continue to projectile vomit.
I saw this AOL throwback on twitter and it actually got me in the mood to write something. After writing it, I realize how ultimately depressing it seems and that was so not my intention. So while there are many negatives list below please know that I’m staying positive and keeping my head up. Here’s the breakdown;
Age – I turn 30 this year, yet I don’t feel like that much time has past since I turned 21. But then it hit me, I came across one of my little cousins Facebook page. I distinctly remember going to one of his an his twin sister’s 6th or 7th birthday parties as a kid. He’s in his twenties now, in college and pledged Phi Beta Sigma. Feels like everyone is growing up but me. I’m still sitting around reading comics, watching Spongebob and playing video games while everyone else is living, getting careers being ADULTS. Continue reading »
